It's 12:30 in the morning on December 5th. While this doesn't seem overly late to some, suffice to say I am normally at least tucked under the covers by 10:30. Because I'm a 90 year old woman, apparently. However, here I sit, on my love seat, my cat curled up next to me with the light from the Christmas tree glowing in the corner. Truth be told, life could be a lot worse.
Showing posts with label Personal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Personal. Show all posts
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Musings
I went a date yesterday with this guy I met over the internet. I discovered a few things about myself. I feel like there's something wrong with me. I talked to this guy and liked him through email and text messages, but when we met there was no "spark". And it got me thinking - are my expectations too high?
I obviously understand that I can't base entire relationships on looks. That's not the right thing to do. But when I don't have an ounce of attraction towards the person I'm with - should I just suck it up and deal with it since he's a "nice" guy? I decided not to. Mainly because it felt like a waste of my time and his - he liked me, but I didn't feel romantic feelings towards him.
I can't pin point exactly why, without coming back to he wasn't my type, and I didn't find him romantically attractive. He texted me about an hour after our date to say that he had a great time and I actually replied with the "let's be friends" speech. He said right away that he knew that was coming and that he had enough friends.
So I feel like a complete jerk, but at the same time at least neither of us are wasting the other's time... right? When did I become the girl that said someone wasn't cute enough to date? I'm NOT that girl. And while I talk to friends and family about this and they all assured me that I wasn't being a bitch about this, I feel like I am. I feel like with all of the changes that I've been going through in the last several months, that parts of me are changing DRASTICALLY.
I don't think this is a bad thing since I'm aware of it, but that it could potentially be problematic. Eh, what do I know?
I obviously understand that I can't base entire relationships on looks. That's not the right thing to do. But when I don't have an ounce of attraction towards the person I'm with - should I just suck it up and deal with it since he's a "nice" guy? I decided not to. Mainly because it felt like a waste of my time and his - he liked me, but I didn't feel romantic feelings towards him.
I can't pin point exactly why, without coming back to he wasn't my type, and I didn't find him romantically attractive. He texted me about an hour after our date to say that he had a great time and I actually replied with the "let's be friends" speech. He said right away that he knew that was coming and that he had enough friends.
So I feel like a complete jerk, but at the same time at least neither of us are wasting the other's time... right? When did I become the girl that said someone wasn't cute enough to date? I'm NOT that girl. And while I talk to friends and family about this and they all assured me that I wasn't being a bitch about this, I feel like I am. I feel like with all of the changes that I've been going through in the last several months, that parts of me are changing DRASTICALLY.
I don't think this is a bad thing since I'm aware of it, but that it could potentially be problematic. Eh, what do I know?
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