Musings

I went a date yesterday with this guy I met over the internet. I discovered a few things about myself. I feel like there's something wrong with me. I talked to this guy and liked him through email and text messages, but when we met there was no "spark". And it got me thinking - are my expectations too high?

I obviously understand that I can't base entire relationships on looks. That's not the right thing to do. But when I don't have an ounce of attraction towards the person I'm with - should I just suck it up and deal with it since he's a "nice" guy? I decided not to. Mainly because it felt like a waste of my time and his - he liked me, but I didn't feel romantic feelings towards him.

I can't pin point exactly why, without coming back to he wasn't my type, and I didn't find him romantically attractive. He texted me about an hour after our date to say that he had a great time and I actually replied with the "let's be friends" speech. He said right away that he knew that was coming and that he had enough friends.

So I feel like a complete jerk, but at the same time at least neither of us are wasting the other's time... right? When did I become the girl that said someone wasn't  cute enough to date? I'm NOT that girl. And while I talk to friends and family about this and they all assured me that I wasn't being a bitch about this, I feel like I am. I feel like with all of the changes that I've been going through in the last several months, that parts of me are changing DRASTICALLY.

I don't think this is a bad thing since I'm aware of it, but that it could potentially be problematic. Eh, what do I know?